Wow. As they say, time flies. And a lot has happened since the day I finally gave life to this blog, almost nine months ago.
In the blink of an eye, my life changed forever. And I never imagined the ripples of this kind of experience would become a part of my story so soon. But here I am.
When I knew I was finally going to bring my blog to life, I couldn’t WAIT to tell my dad. The writer in me definitely came from his line of genes. And since it was my birthday, I already knew I’d be seeing him and and my mom for lunch that day.
I didn’t get to see my parents that often, especially on my birthday. But Momma had actually asked me a week earlier if we could all do lunch that day. I was really excited, because my hubby wasn’t able to get off work, so at least I knew I was going to have someone to spend my birthday with.
I took that day off, because this was one of those “big” birthdays.
When I told Daddy I was starting a blog, and told him the name, he laughed and was VERY excited for me.
As we talked a little bit about what I was planning to write about, my heart felt so full and inspired, more than it had in a very long time. Getting my dad’s approval was exactly what I was hoping for. He even picked the logo I’m now using from several I showed to him. This was the best, most perfect birthday gift I could ever have gotten.
I just didn’t realize at the time how meaningful and special that was. Because it would be the last time I’d ever get one from him.
Between September and November 2023, my Daddy experienced a myriad of completely unexpected health setbacks. He already had progressing dementia, but a fall at home in October caused that to take a sudden, drastic turn for the worse.
Just two days after Herbie and I returned from celebrating our anniversary in Hawaii, Daddy was taken by ambulance to the hospital. After a 40-day blur of more tests, treatments, a stay in rehab, and a return to the hospital, he never got to see home again.
At 9:23 a.m. on December 8, 2023, sitting alone next to his hospital bed, I was holding my Daddy’s hand when he took his last breath and his soul was gently escorted to heaven.
In that devastating moment, I lost the most precious man in my life. The man I was always able to share my deepest thoughts and dreams with, talk about life and the universe with, and share buffalo wings, laughter, and daddy-daughter dates with.
He was the one person I knew would always be there to give me his shoulder to cry on. And wrap me up in his big, strong, compassionate arms to hug away any worry, doubt, or sorrow.
But he was also the first person I usually wanted to celebrate accomplishments and good news with, and go to just to get a good, old-fashioned Daddy hug. Just because I could.
He always told me that no matter how old I was, I would always be “Daddy’s little girl.” And he always made me feel like I was.
Daddy was a loving, encouraging, giving, funny, brilliant, creative man. But, most importantly, he was the man who taught me about the love of God, the gift of salvation, and what it means to live your faith. I am eternally grateful for that.
I already deeply miss everything about the man, the father I lost in this life. But I take comfort in knowing I will see Him again. I believe he’ll be the first one waiting for me in heaven when the Lord calls me home.
This is definitely one of the most painful and devastating experiences anyone has to face in life. And it’s been a very difficult reality to navigate. But now I fully understand and can bear this depth of pain with others who grieve.
We held Daddy’s Celebration of Life on April 20th. So now that there’s no more planning to do, the rush of emotions has waned, and the busy hum has gone silent, my heart must learn to live on.
I want to make my Daddy proud by continuing to do what I set out to do. And so I will ponder, ask questions, and write, because life — it’s an experience.