Today, December 8th, is the date I’ve been dreading all year. Today is the day, one year ago, that I lost my precious Daddy to heaven.
This is my reality today.
As time has a way of doing, this year has passed in just the blink of an eye. Yet some of its moments and memories have felt like a slow, painful eternity.
Reliving so many memories of Daddy, and grieving the loss of the ones we’ll never get to make again, has made many of the “firsts” this year hurt very deeply. I miss Daddy every single day and it’s still hard some days to believe that it’s real. But he’s really gone.
And to make things even worse right now, Momma is sick again, just like she was last year. So, again, I can’t be with her.
Not sure yet if it’s COVID this time or not, but the timing is just a little too much déjà vu. Please pray for her.
I still talk to or text with Momma nearly every day. And with this first anniversary of Daddy’s death approaching, we’ve been talking a lot about how surreal it still feels.
How has it been a year already? And when will this new “normal” ever feel normal? I think the answer to the second question might actually be never, it just gets a little easier with time.
Every death affects people in different ways. But, for me, it feels like there was definitely something a bit deeper that happened in my soul with the death of my father. Life goes on and we learn to adapt and live life to the fullest, the best we can. But knowing it’ll never be the same.
I don’t know yet if it’s just the first year that’s the hardest after. But it certainly wasn’t easy and this is an anniversary I will never look forward to.
I’m very thankful, though, for the love and support of my Herbie this past year. And for being able to share and also to understand and support other family and friends who have experienced the same. There is some comfort in that.
This date also serves as another reminder now to take time for the people I love and try to be there for others who are hurting. Every minute together is precious and you never know when it might be the last.